Kids and Dogs: Creating Great Playmates

You see a cute puppy in a pet shop window and make an impulsive, often catastrophic, decision to add another "child" into the family. You are probably well equipped to handle one with two legs, but I'm talking about the 4-legged kind. Good intentions are usually behind this choice, like getting a dog for the kids so "they will learn to be responsible for another living, breathing thing", and "Spike will grow up with the kids and, how sweet, they'll be buddies". Or maybe it's this reason: "It's a perfect time! The kids are home from school and can bond with the puppy now. And we can use this next two weeks to get the puppy trained." It all sounds good on paper, but the reality is that it's often a disaster waiting to happen. Babies need care and supervision, no matter how many legs they have. So, when you expect them to take care of each other, it's bound to fail.

Let's just say you've done it. You went out and got a puppy. Now what? I'll spend some time with you, giving you ideas, principles and tips to make this relatively painless. Heck, you might even have fun.

First, you cannot depend on your child to supervise the puppy when the puppy is out of the crate and you're out of the room, or even view. Consider your absence or lack of ability to pay attention to both a definite "need to crate" time. Your crate should be used to form the puppy's habits, to keep him safe, and to prevent potentially hazardous or negative situations for the child and/or the puppy.

When you have the time to work with the dog, either with or without your child, your focus should be on teaching the dog how to behave. You need to be "setting up" potential real life situations, desensitizing the dog to his instinctual response, and replacing that with a domestic response. This alternate way of acting is determined by your direction.

For instance, child's toys are often objects of great interest to dogs. You need to "casually" drop the toy in the general vicinity of the puppy, and with a sharp noise such as a clap, hitting the counter, or stomping the foot, interrupt the dog before he acts on his impulse to grab it. Remember that in order to change behavior in a dog you must change his thought process. Once the puppy acts on a thought (i.e. grabs the toy) and you correct him, he figures it's okay to do it but at this moment in time you want him to stop. Don't lock yourself into the same toy, or the same room, or the same time of day. Make sure to use shoes and socks as well, for they seem to be objects that are usually chosen by your canine child. If you don't generalize the situation and environment for the dog, he will only be conditionally responsive, i.e. he will only be trained to a specific situation or toy. You will know that you are doing this correctly when the dog avoids the behavior instead of avoiding you. He will choose to walk past the "set-up" without even sniffing it.

Another common problem with dogs and kids is play biting. Whether this is exhibited during excited running, for no seemingly good reason at all, or simply when the child reaches out to touch the dog, you must take an active part in teaching the puppy not to play with your child like he would another dog. You see, your dog cannot figure out that merely because you walk on two legs and have hair instead of fur, that he should interact with you in any other fashion than what would be natural to him if you were another dog. Spend time with your dog on a slack lead, encouraging your child to touch and "over-stimulate" the dog and correct the dog as he becomes animated with his mouth. Do not remove the dog from the situation, instead continue to have your child touch him until the puppy chooses to tolerate handling and play without using his mouth.

As far as the chasing of a running child, that is the result of a natural instinct called "prey drive": if it runs away I chase it. If your child is old enough and willing, have her hold a handful of keys or other object that can be concealed until it is thrown as the dog attempts to jump and bite in play. The purpose is not to hit the dog, but to startle and disallow a repetition or continuation of this behavior. (Another useful object you can use to startle the puppy is an empty soda can filled with a handful of pennies, sealed, and then placed into a cutoff sport sock.) If your child is not old enough, or you feel uncomfortable with this, you can attach a long, light line, such as a clothesline, to the dog's collar, and when the chase begins, you give a firm yank, before the line gets tight and before he reaches the kids. There is no need to say anything unless the dog returns to you in avoidance of chasing. That would be the optimum response, by the way. Remember, we don't want the dog to avoid the children, just change the way he plays.

It is very important to make sure to teach the dog how to respond in as many potential real life situations as you can think of. A child can be taught to behave responsibly and kindly with a dog, but they are still kids, and they can do the darndest things at the worst possible times. You need to gently pull on the dog's ears and tail and correct any undesirable behavior before adding the actual child to the equation. You are teaching tolerance to the kind of over-handling the dog might experience. Get right up in your puppy''s face and schmush up on him, pick up his bones and toys while he's actively playing with or chewing them, and so on. You will have a much happier family if you can depend on your dog's response in any given situation. You can't think of everything, so remember that dogs learn through repetition. You have a small window of opportunity to change any behavior fairly easily. You must set up anything you "miss" as soon as possible after its occurrence, leaving the experience only after the dog has made the right choice as determined by you. This is all a process of domesticating the dog…making him fit for your household and its members.